The Myths
of Homosexuality*
*The following information
written by Linda Goldman
cannot be reproduced without permission by the author.
Myth 1: Homosexuality is linked with problems in a
child's relationship with parents, such as a
domineering or possessive mother and an ineffectual or hostile father.
Myth 2: Homosexuality involves a fear or hatred of
people of the other sex, leading individuals to direct their sexual desires
toward members of their own sex.
Myth 3: Homosexuality is a choice.
Myth 4: Homosexuality is caused when children were
victimized, seduced, molested, or sexually assaulted by an adult homosexual.
There is no biological basis for homosexuality.
Myth 5: Homosexuality is a mental illness.
Myth 6: Homosexual men are pedophiles.
Myth 7: LGBT parents raise their children to be
homosexual.
The Trend towards Acceptance
-
The media as a catalyst for
change.
-
Positive role models.
-
Religious and political influence.
-The first amendment center.
Goldman, Linda (2008).
Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing the Well Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth
in Mainstream America. Taylor and Francis Publishers.
Goals of Working with LGBT Youth
Goal 1
The recognition that this is a societal problem imposed
as a prison of bigotry on too many of our youth is manifested by the
injustice of not seeing these adolescents or their families as people -
typical teens - respected human beings for their ability to love in their
own way.
Goal 2
The ability to help gay LGBT youth process their myriad
of feelings with the recognition of their sexual orientation and methods
to allow them a safe passage to 'come out'
and share themselves in the most protected way.
Goal 3
The foresight to create safe homes, schools, and
communities that offer the LGBT youth all the rights, privileges, and
respect deemed worthy to any other young person in their age group.
Goldman, Linda (2008). Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing
the Well Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream America. Taylor
and Francis Publishers.
Strategies in Promoting Self-Empowerment
Being
a gay male or lesbian is not a pathological
condition.
The origin of
sexual orientation is not completely known.
LGBT individuals
lead fulfilling and satisfying lives.
There are a variety
of ways to live life as a LGBT teen.
LGBT
individuals come to counseling with no desire to change their sexual
orientation and should not be coerced into doing so.
Counseling that is
affirmative of lesbians and gay males should be available.
(Schwartz and Harstein, 1986)
Adolescent Developmental Tasks Include:
1.
accepting
one's body as it is and creating more mature
relationships with peers
2.
seeking to become
responsible members of society and achieve their evolving values
3.
preparing for a future
of economic success, marriage, and family life
Goldman, Linda (2008). Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing
the Well Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream America. Taylor and
Francis Publishers.
Categories for Supporting GLBTQ Students in Schools
1. Increase Awareness and Sensitivity
- Display information on
GLBTQ issues throughout school.
- Create a no tolerance
policy for sexual harassment.
- Non-discrimination policies
include sexual orientation.
- Assemblies, dances, guest
speaker to enrich diversity.
- Support LGBT faculty as
visible role-models.
2. Professional Training for Educators and School
Personnel
- Create trainings and
courses for educators from elementary school through college.
- Make mandatory sensitivity
training for everyone on levels of the school staff.
3. Services
- Create clubs, gay-straight
alliances, and school functions for GLBTQ students.
- Offer counseling within the
school and recommend community resources.
- Health services must be
informed on health issues for GLBTQ students, including both mental health
issues and sexually transmitted infections (STIís).
4. Curriculum Development
- Expand the sex-ed and social living units in the curriculum to
include gay issues.
- Integrate GLBTQ issues into
English/ history classes involving civil rights movements.
Goldman, Linda (2008). Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing
the Well Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream America. Taylor
and Francis Publishers.
After a Child 'Comes Out':
A Parent's Process
- Family members may experience a wide range of feelings that
include self blame, grief over the perceived loss of grandchildren and
traditional marriage, fear for their child's
happiness, health, and safety, and anger, shame or disbelief.
- Some parents may also be immediately accepting or rejecting.
-
Family members may have had an
awareness of their child's sexual orientation or
gender identity and tried to discourage the child or create a supportive
environment.
- The impact of learning a child is gay can result in crisis.
-
Family adjustment may begin with a
period of mourning the loss of their perceived heterosexual youth and the
beginning of the awareness of their own prejudices and their resolve to
dispelling them.
-
The family members begin a
process of integration, which is ongoing and continually changing as
life presents challenges and rewards in the moving towards positive
acceptance of a young person's identity and
orientation.
- Parental support groups are an effective intervention for
dialogue and normalization for the family.
Goldman, Linda (2008). Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing
the Well Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream America. Taylor
and Francis Publishers.
Ways Parents Can Become Involved with Gay Youth
-
Talk to your children
-
Talk to your children's
friends.
- Ask questions.
- Show interest.
- Be honest.
- Share your journey too.
- Seek information.
- Read books, participate in seminars, become
educated.
-
Find out the sexual harassment
policies at your childís school.
- Discover if schools provide clubs for gay
students.
- Talk with other parents of gay children.
- Speak out against homophobic slurs.
- Challenge conventional stereotyping
- Disclose you are a parent of a gay child.
- Join a support group.
- Become involved at the organizational level
- Use the creative arts for self-expression.
- Draw, write, create poetry, etc.
- Advocate for legislation and join the
political process.
Goldman, Linda (2008). Coming Out, Coming In: Nurturing the Well
Being and Inclusion of Gay Youth in Mainstream America. Taylor and Francis
Publishers.
Children entering this new millennium are faced with life issues that
were unspeakable to us growing up as children. Death related tragedies such as suicide,
homicide, and AIDS, and non-death related traumas such as divorce and separation, foster
care and abandonment, bullying and terrorism, and abuse and violence have left our
children sitting alone in their homes, unfocused and unmotivated in their classrooms, and
terrorized in their communities. They are overwhelmed with their feelings and distracted
by their thoughts.
Survivorship of these traumas creates for any child a loss of their assumptive world of
safety, protection, and predictability. The role of the media as a surrogate communal
parent and extended family further creates this same traumatic loss of this assumptive
world for many if not most of our children.
Children naturally assume their world will be filled with safety, kindness, and meaning as
they attempt to answer the universal questions of who am I and why am I here. All too
often these qualities seem to disappears into a nightmarish universe of randomness,
isolation, and unpredictability. This leaves many of todayıs young people immersed in a
new assumption: There is no future. There is no safety. There is no connectedness or
meaning to my life. By joining together as a global grief team, caring adults can
co-create an assumptive world that again provides a childıs birthright to presume love,
generosity, and value will be integral parts of their lives.
We are raising a segment of our youth that are numbed, disconnected from their hearts,
their minds, and their consciousnesses, and choosing all to easily, other alternatives
such as drugs and alcohol, crime and violence as ways of coping with the loss of their
assumptive world. In yesterdayıs world we may have protected ourselves from trauma by
having fire drills in our schools. In todayıs world our kids protect themselves from
danger in the schools by having gun-fire drills. Too many of todayıs school children are
grieving children. So many of our boys and girls are born into a world of grief and loss
issues that live inside their homes and lay waiting for them outside their doorsteps, on
their streets, schoolyards, and classrooms. Increasingly, children are traumatized by
prevailing social and societal loss issues in their families, their schools, their nation,
and their world.
Text adapted with permission from Life and Loss: A Guide to Help
Grievng Children, Breaking the Silence: A Guide To Help Children With Complicated Grief:
Suicide, Homicide, AIDS, Violence, and Abuse and Helping The Grieving Child in the School
Healing Magazine (Kidspeace)and Growing Up Fast (NES).
This information can not be reproduced without acknowledging source.